At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
