i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
