Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
