I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Vodka?
Forever.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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