I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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