is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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