the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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