I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
