I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
