It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
