So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize