WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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