yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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