WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
