You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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