you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
