Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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