We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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