I'm eating all of the evidence.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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