Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
