dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
