party gras won. party gras always wins.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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