There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
