the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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