Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
