Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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