So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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