how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
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