hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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