i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
