windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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