Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
