Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
