no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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