M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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