Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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