just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
