Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
