I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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