I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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