Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I can't turn off my feet"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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