i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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