she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
