I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
