mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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