drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize