So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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