i don't like sucking hair
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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