I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
