Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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