google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
