We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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