My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize