I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
