You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
