The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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