Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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