im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Still dying that you shit outside
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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