life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a squirter
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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