no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize