All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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