she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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