I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
